just_the_doctor | (no subject)

(no subject)

It's not technically his TARDIS that he's going into. But, then again, the key still fits, so in a very real way, it is.

The Doctor v.4 looks around the dim, organic console room, such a change from the antiseptic white of his own. He studies the console for a few moments, then pushes a series of very specific buttons.

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"I'm leaving. Thought you'd like to know. Especially since you're not."

Nine sighs. "No, I'm not. This is home now."

"The Council may not want us, but Gallifrey is still home!" Four barks suddenly. "And if that weren't enough, the TARDIS is home! How can you possibly think--"

"Gallifrey is dead!" the Doctor shouts, cutting the other Time Lord off.

The earlier Doctor recoils as if struck. "How dare you! How dare you turn your back on your world!"

"No!" he rallies back, slamming his fist on the console. "The planet is literally dead! The Time Lords are dead! Our entire race -- our world -- is gone! Wiped out. Destroyed. Ex-ter-mi-na-ted!"

Four stares, unable to absorb the shock of what he's just heard. He tries to speak, but has to swallow back a sudden lump in his throat. When he tries again, the words come out as a raspy whisper. "Daleks?"

He nods slowly. "Daleks. The last great Time War comes at last. And everybody loses. The Time Lords are wiped out, but they take the Daleks with them. I was there. I saw it happen. The explosion was horrific. I was on the edge of it and was thrown clear. I ended up a few million years away. By the time I got back, it was all over.

"I tried to go on as usual. It was always just me against the cosmos anyway, right? But everything was different. I saw the destruction of my home. Nothing looks right after that. I found Milliways by accident, drawn in while on the run from Cybermen, and got stuck. Bound, they call it. I made friends; I got comfortable. I started to heal.

"When I got Unbound, thanks to people like Ace and Ray, I came right back. It felt good being here; it felt right. The end of Time is where I belong. I'm the last of our race. An antique, a relic of an era dead and over with."

The Doctor listens to the story of the inevitable end of his people with a blank expression. For a moment, he even shared the sense of despair that his future self was describing. How can I go on as if everything is okay, knowing what I know now? he thinks in that instant of desperation.

But an instant is all it is, a sudden flash that's gone as quickly as it came.

"No. What you are is a coward."

...

"What?"

"You heard me. You're hiding. You stared into the abyss, the abyss stared back, and you got scared. The Time Lords may be gone, but you aren't. That doesn't give you the right to hide under the bed. That makes it even more important that you're out there making a difference. Because you're the only one who can!"

"You don't understand..."

"I understand well enough. I understand loss. I understand duty. I understand never giving up, even when all possibility of hope is gone. What you don't understand is that as long as your hearts beat, you're a Time Lord. And you're more than a Time Lord because you're the Doctor."

"Yes, I'm the Doctor. What's your point?"

"My point is, act like it, damn you!"

There are no words. Only a look that's half hurt and half venom.

The Doctor holds the stare for a long silent moment. Then, without another word, he turns on his heel and strides out of the future TARDIS and back to his own.

A scant minute after that, only one blue police box remains in the field behind Milliways.

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